I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
