Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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