just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
