Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
