after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
