my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
