I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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