Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
is it fun? or sober?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize