On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize