My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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