Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
