return my video game
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
