Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
