Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
