The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
