After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
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So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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