Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
