SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
