He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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