I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
