why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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