Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
