she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
