Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
