Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize