Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
