Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
