bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
