Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
