I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize