Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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