4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
