dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
did i just pee glitter
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
