conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
