Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
