sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
