'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
