I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
COCAINE IS GR8
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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