K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
