I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
