One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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