i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
