when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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