You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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