Small penises have feelings too.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
