You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
