oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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