ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
