I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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