i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
