did you get engaged???
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Me too!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
