if i died would you start the facebook group?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
