Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
