do herpes really smell.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
