I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
