her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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