she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
