she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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