Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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