in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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