Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Drake has all the answers
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
