I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
