Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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