You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish i was in the wii world.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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