you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
